I can't sleep more than 2 or 3 hours without waking up In a cold sweat, heart pounding, short of breath, thinking I'm dying. Then once I manage to go back to sleep its time to start my day.
I can't stop thinking that everything is falling apart but I still have to try and function through the day. What choice do I have? Everyone already thinks I'm crazy if I stop juggling and all the balls fall it will totally be confirmed.
I just want to sleep then maybe I can think or not think. Maybe then I can stop all the thoughts worries fears planning juggling long enough to put things back in order without my house of cards toppling over.
Need a shower.
Going back to bed
Sunday, October 21, 2012
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